BOW WAVE 58

news and views on trade, insurance and risk

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Wavy Line	sam@wavyline.com
(c)2000 WavyLine.com	Issue No 58 29 Dec 00
Published free of charge to Readers
Editor: Sam Ignarski
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In this issue:

1. Welcome
2. Funny Claims
3. Junk Drawer
4. Snowman
5. Steel Wheels Delight
6. And Finally...

1. Welcome

This final issue of Bow Wave for the year is a seasonal melange of the not entirely serious.

Our technology is creaking somewhat--the simple e-mail tools of Textpad and Eudora Pro 4 have served us well but are not really up to the volumes of messages we receive. So soon in the new year we will transfer to something more robust.

We wish our readers all the best for the new year. The politically correct message in item 6 came to our inbox courtesy of Bow Wave Reader Barry Evetts.

2. Funny Claims

Back in 1987, your editor published a collection of statements in the Underwriter's Bedside Book which were said to originate from claims forms submitted to motor insurers.

They appeared all those years ago courtesy of an anthology published by the Police Review. Today, they continue to provide harmless pleasure for readers on the internet. The somewhat larger list of statements appears this time with thanks to the Canadian insurance site listed below.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end http://www.insurance-canada.ca/consumerinfo/real10.htm/

3. Junk Drawer

To find a place for all the scraps of internet surfing and computing which clutter up bigger programmes and and thus stride towards the maintanance of administrative rigour.

It is possible that some users will find sustenance from the makers of Junk Drawer, a programme which allows the more chaotic characters amongst us to drag and drop what they like into a well or at least better ordered system.

See the free shareware version at:

http://www.palware.com/jd/

4. Snowman

The weather has turned right cold here in the UK ending a long soggy autumn with a proper seasonal freeze.

* *
___ *
* _|___|_ *
* '=/a a\=' *
* \~_ / *
* _\__/ '-' \__/_
/ \ o / \

The graphic above comes from the website of Joan Stark who makes up images using only Notepad, a keyboard and a monitor. You can see a large collection of her work in her ASCII Gallery at:

http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/indexholiday.htm/

5. Steel Wheels Delight

Here is an interesting idea: group together sites of interest in selected groups called trains which allows a vistor to surf a limited body of sites. You thus impose some order in the chaos without greatly harming the ability of the visitor to surf the site. There is even one for the benighted enthusiasts for steel wheels called railyard.

Take a look at:

http://www.therail.com/cgi/trains/

6. And Finally...

A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2001, but not without due respect for the calendars-of-choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country, or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race,creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, it is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and the warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

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