BOW WAVE 145

Somewhat Amusing Edition

news and views on trade, insurance and risk

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(c)2002 WavyLine.com	Issue No 145 02 Sep 02
Published free of charge to Readers
Editor: Sam Ignarski
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In this issue:

1. Welcome
2. Meet Frank de Pauw
3. Integrity in Action
4. Tradegate Faces an Uncertain Future
5. Underwriters Beware: Darwin Awards
6. And Finally...

1. Welcome

New Readers this week include:

Consultant (ex Salvage Association) Gerald F Cooper Christina Barton
James Muthana of IBC Conferences
Cross cultural lawyer from Birketts Mr Christian Dodd New York lawyer Stephan Skoufalos

News of Readers

We learn from a recent newsletter that the two Chans, Richard and Simon of Sun Hing Insurance Brokers in Hong Kong, excellent men both, have now over 150 customers in the freight sector since starting in the year 2000. We think it can only get better for them and we recommend their services to anyone in the Region who needs a professional partner in this field.

Contact them at:

richardchan@sunhinginsurance.com
simonchan@sunhinginsurance.com

Phil Bennett has joined AON in London as a
consultant. His many friends in the industry wish him well in his endeavours. Your editor knows as much as he does about the market in the US for stevedores, ports and terminals owing to several years in close proximity to PEB during a rather exciting period in the TT Club throughout the US liability crisis of the late 1980s.

Contact him at:

Philipeben@aol.com

Betty Wong who used to do PR for DHL in Hong Kong left for something in dot commery and has now returned to the main stream landing at Jones Lang LaSalle, the real estate services and investment management firm.

Her role there is three-tiered. Firstly, since she is based in Hong Kong, she is
responsible for all the marketing and communications activities for the firm's
operations in Hong Kong; secondly, she is also the point of contact for North Asia
(Tokyo, Seoul, Beijing, Shanghai, Taipei and Hong Kong); and thirdly, she also
looks after an Asia-Pacific business unit which is called Investor Services and
targets the business of the developers of office buildings, shopping malls and
luxury residential developments.

Readers who might need her services should feel free to drop her a line if they need help from her part of the world.

Contact her at:

Betty.Wong@ap.joneslanglasalle.com

A late-lingering sense of summer good humour attends this edition of Bow Wave. Your editor's in-box overflows with not entirely serious contributions from Readers. But our editorial policy is to brim with serious matters. Often most of the time.

Enjoy.

2. Meet Frank de Pauw

We met Frank this week who has been known to your editor since a long week of seminars on various aspects of containerisation held in the Pribaltiskaya Hotel in Leningrad during the Glasnost time. Frank's company ITS was then supplying container surveys to Baltic Shipping and your editor through transport insurance to various companies with convertible currency exposures. The experience made a big impression on both of us. Frank went on as European Manager to set up a network of offices around Eastern Europe. Ironically he no longer does container survey work, the bottom having dropped out of this business. Instead he offers expertise in marine, non-marine and automotive logistics in a company consisting of 160 offices. He clearly has drawn many lessons from his life within a network as he also has developed in association with his Russian software developers a rather interesting multilingual web based electronic claims management system for vehicles and spare parts which he
believes has revolutionised the traditional way of dealing with claims. Going down to the car dealer level, the system facilitates settlement within seven calandar days.

Visit the ITS site at:

http://www.its-surveys.com/

3. Integrity in Action

Another post from Ian Priban, the convenor of the British Innovation Group--Europe (BIGE) who is often inspired by the examples of natural science for his ideas on developing innovation.

Why?

What can any one do when extending the past in the usual piecemeal way is obviously not good enough? We are in a phase when specialist know more and more about less and less, while generalist know less and less about everything. So when confusion reigns who wants better ways?

A review of history and of advances from scientific research, shows how a proper orientation can lead to an inspired restarting of progress.

Biological, social and technological evolution shows recurring patterns of interaction that are similar in principle. Steady long periods come to an end only as the transformation to new growth is properly underway.

Humanity is presently facing this kind of transformation and a new period of stable progress. Those driving it are co-adapting, accelerating and sharing the process they have uncovered, calling it Intelligent Evolution.

BIGE Earlybirds began to develop the highground for steadfast progress using "Integrity of Action" in November 2000.

Their preparatory research and development aiming for a healthy philosophy and a better society that is on the new level of evolution. They called it Enterprise Embryology. Believing in mutual integrity and quid pro quo as key to the future, they plan to benefit from it and avoid selfish freeloaders.

Those still driving institutional practices in passé ways must persuade themselves to co-adapt, cross-fertilise and judge their shared plans and actions in the objective new ways using new values. They must decide whether they see this as a great opportunity or as an obstacle?

A good and fair way to inspire "Integrity of Action" is by sharing new and integrated knowledge using the ATWA website to go public globally. Particularly the young will be made aware of this great opportunity.

Contact Ian at:

IanPriban@compuserve.com

4. Tradegate Faces Uncertain Future in Australia

News in this summer from Australia-as a result of changes in customs arrangements, the activities of not-for-profit Tradegate Australia which provide the electronic facilitation services for 3000 organisations are due to be downsized. In a press release Chairman John Begley says:

"The first step in this change process was covered in the recent announcement that Tradegate will significantly reduce its involvement in the International electronic business messaging standards process from early 2003. This action flows directly from the decision taken to focus Tradegate resources on the International Trade and Transport Industry.

The Board has now determined that the Melbourne office will be closed towards the end of this year and the Sydney office relocated out of the CBD. There will also be a gradual reduction in the number of staff employed in both Sydney and Melbourne to reflect the fact that the focus of activity will revert back to the original charter for Tradegate when it was created in 1989.

At the same time the Board remains fully committed to the continuation of service provision through our outsourced arrangements with Connect Internet Solutions and to the provision of our own Bureau, ImportNet, Payments and ExportNet services. The latter now service some 500+ registered users, are well established and growing significantly."

The activities of Tradegate are as well-established as any in the electronic messaging world but the pace of change seems to have been to extreme for the organisation in this instance.

http://www.tradegate.org.au

5. Underwriters Beware: Darwin Awards

Many thanks to Lloyd's List's Chris Mayer for this instalment charting these monuments to the folly of humanity:

"It's that time again . . . . . They are finally out . You all know about the Darwin Awards - It's an annual honour given to the ones who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.

The nominees for this year are:

A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.

A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6'2" tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and white saddle shoes,and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to a one end of a hollow wooden tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other end was inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause of his suffocation. Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to his family very awkward.

Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed.They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.

A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a highway near Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her passenger and killing herself. As a commonplace road accident, this would not have qualified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for the fact that the driver's attention had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring, which had started urgently beeping for food as she drove along. In an attempt to press the correct buttons to save the Tamagotchi's life, the woman lost her own.

A 22-year-old Reston, Virginia man was found dead after he tried to use some octopus rubber cord sets to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle.Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby.
"The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground," Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was "major trauma."

A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalised.

Employees in a medium sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and
retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette
lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually
untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.

And the winner . .. .

The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured out what it was and what had happened. It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long and straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO! The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3 miles From the crash site. This was established by the prominent scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver, and soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners,causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles 15-20 seconds) before the Driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tyres and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel. It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420 mph.

The latest nominee for this year's Darwin Award (awarded to people for incredible feats of stupidity) goes to.... (from the Orlando Sentinel)

Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed straddle the ball washer and dangle his
scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one
of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place,
thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain,
collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washed was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the
weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just
purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the course.

6. And Finally,

James Callahan of Metropolitan Stevedores writes:

There is an annoying trend here in the US to advertise prescription drugs on television. Attractive people taking "attractive drugs." The commercials don't even say what the purpose of the drug is. They leave it to you to go to your doctor and say, "By the way, doc, how about that Mesomorphonol, would that be good for me?"

Yikes.

Anyway, here are some candidates.

St. Mom's Wort

Plant extract that treats mom's depression
by rendering preschoolers unconscious for
up to six hours.

______________________________

Empty Nestrogen

Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful the kids were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

______________________________

Peptobimbo

Liquid silicone for single women.
Two full cups swallowed before an evening out
increases breast size, decreases intelligence,
and improves flirting.

______________________________

Dumerol

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause
dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment
of country western music.

______________________________

Flipitor

Increases life expectancy of commuters by
controlling road rage and the urge to flip off
other drivers.

______________________________

Antiboyotics

When administered to teenage girls, is highly
effective in improving grades, freeing up phone
lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

______________________________

Menicillin

Potent antiboyotic for older women.
Increases resistance to such lines as, "You
make me want to be a better person ...
can we get naked now?"

_____________________________

Buyagra

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

______________________________

Extra Strength Buy-One-all

When combined with Buyagra, can cause an
indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD
or a leopard leotard.

______________________________

JackAsspirin

Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

_______________________________

Anti-talksident

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

______________________________

Sexcedrin

More effective than Excedrin in treating the,
"Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.

______________________________

Ragamet

When administered to a husband, provides the
same irritation as ragging on him all weekend,
saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

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